Are you the type who is obsessed with sleeping with the first guy who comes along? Are you trying to decide when the best time for you is to let go and become a single again? If you are ready to get back into the good graces of relationship-play and are looking for wisdom on when to add another Player into your life, you can depend on the expert advice of someone whose experience in this realm is highly rated. Keep reading for insight into Whether to delay sex, and what makes a good boyfriend vs. good personais the crucial component in understanding what makes a woman truly irresistible to men;
Before you hear someone cite the highly coveted Dateretion, it’s important to remember that this is the first version of advice as Annie Bolt, expertise in relationships, puts it: “I never sleep with a man until I exchange affection and respect – for sex is a public default.” So let’s step back and explore some of the reasons why the old rules are so prevalent and, in some respects, deeply ingrained.
So, what are the reasons why men and women date differently?
In our presexual, cave era, we lived by a strictly masculine or feminine standards. Men and women must have been defined by their sexual counterpart. It was not that men and women were equal. It was that men and women were defined by their contribution to fertility and shares in the disposal of it. So, the courtesies, courting, sex and the dozens of other associated ideas and behaviors that men would inject into their wives’ sexuality and dating lives are not modern standards. Nor are they attitudes or behavior that defines a healthy relationship. Modern standards simply do not align with the way our parents and grandparents perceived sex and dating.
Somewhat related is the issue of latch-on or co-dependency. Modernity has established that both men and women can be self-dependent; it’s not the ” cures” for co-dependency we are unfamiliar with. In some respects, it’s actually destructive; yet, these interests are deeply ingrained in the human condition.
Definitely, these interests weren’t always as popular at 50 as they are today. However, they have become increasingly compulsory and necessary for people to survive in the 21st Century. Put simply, people today are in emotional and psychological need, and find it extremely difficult to associate with others unless they have emotional stability. Therefore, spontaneity and novelty, in themselves, are threatened by these interests.
It’s basic human nature to value that which you had to work for to acquire. In many ways, the theft of sex from one individual to another is theft of resources from one person to another; in human nature. However, modernity has dramatically altered the dynamics of sex. Now, it’s not uncommon for women to openly admit to having sex with a man. Men are more secure in their sexuality, and are less likely to hide it or be hesitant to talk about it with friends and family. Put another way, in many cases, modern men would rather have casual sex with women, or no sex at all, than admit that they are seeing other people, at least, occasionally.
Finally there is the issue of gender stereotyping. Men are seen as potential listeners and intimacy partners, and are even desired as good sex partners; rarely. Women are defined by their ability to talk, and intimacy potential, not as lovers.
All of these factors work against men and women developing positive intimate bonds. There are work around the value and intention that each party bring to the intimate relationship. It’s up to the matrimonial couple to work together on the relationship, as husband and wife. After all, it is the couple themselves which makes “the relationship” a success, not either of them. By providing the necessary tools, both sides have a much better chance at making a success of intimacy.
